Innocence
by twstofate
Summary: After WrestleMania, Stephanie and Kurt struggle with their past. Song used is by Hootie and the Blowfish.


// What else can I do when the tears have all been wasted? \\  
  
"What?" Stephanie McMahon asked irritably at the knock on her door.  
  
"Hey sis," Shane McMahon said, sticking his head into the office. "How are you?"  
  
"Peachy," Stephanie said sarcastically, hoping Shane would leave the office.  
  
"What is it?" Shane asked, sitting in the chair across the desk from his younger sister. "Is it that Hogan beat Dad? Is it that your asshole ex- husband retained his title?"  
  
"No," Stephanie said, waving his comments away with her hand.  
  
"So it's Kurt," Shane said quietly.  
  
"No!" Stephanie exclaimed. Her blue eyes told Shane the truth. She was scared, really scared.  
  
"He'll be okay Steph," Shane said softly.  
  
"He could be paralyzed Shane," Stephanie whispered. She quickly wiped a tear off her cheek. "He could die."  
  
// And the only voice you choose to hear sings the songs of our hearts breaking. \\  
  
Kurt Angle bounced on his toes, eyes closed. To the outside observer, he looked like he was relaxed, trying to get hyped for his match that was less than fifteen minutes away.  
  
But Trish Stratus knew Kurt better than that. His jaw was clenching. His knuckles were white from being held in tight fists. Something was wrong with Kurt Angle. She didn't have to be his friend anymore to know he needed to talk. And there was no one else around.  
  
"You okay?" Trish asked softly.  
  
Kurt opened his blue eyes and looked over at the blond woman. He grimaced for a moment. Was he in pain or hoping she was someone else. "I'm fine."  
  
"I heard about your neck," Trish said.  
  
"I'm fine," Kurt said again, his voice low.  
  
"Who did you want me to be?" Trish asked, brushing her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"It doesn't matter," Kurt said.  
  
"Maybe she feels the same way," Trish said quietly.  
  
"She made it clear that she doesn't," Kurt said. "I have a match."  
  
"Good luck," Trish said.  
  
// Say your dreams, they all have changed. \\  
  
Stephanie paced her office. She knew the main event had already started. She knew that Kurt was in the ring facing Brock Lesnar. She knew he wasn't in the best physical shape.  
  
"He shouldn't be out there," Stephanie muttered to herself. "I shouldn't have let him go out there."  
  
She continued to pace, listening for reactions from the audience. She was afraid to watch the match. Why? She had seen Hunter injured several times. She had seen her brother and father in dangerous street matches. Why couldn't she watch Kurt in this one match?  
  
Because she had treated him so badly. She had seen the hurt in his eyes when she had rejected him, when she had acted as if she didn't care at all.  
  
But she didn't care. He wasn't the knight to sweep her off her feet. That was what she wanted. What she really, truly wanted.  
  
"Then why do I see him every time I close my eyes?" she asked herself aloud.  
  
// Well, my smiles, they all have faded. \\  
  
"Great match," Kurt said, embracing Brock Lesnar at the end of their match. He was man enough to admit it had been an excellent match. He knew he was lucky to have made it through and he could still walk.  
  
"Thank you," Brock whispered. Kurt stepped back and watched the other man take the belt. He deserved it. He was damn good.  
  
Kurt turned and rolled out of the ring, ever mindful of his neck. He walked up the ramp. He had just been in the main event at WrestleMania. He should be smiling. He should be happy.  
  
But he was leaving for months, maybe longer. Maybe he would never come back.  
  
Maybe then he could get her out of his blood. Maybe he would stop aching inside every time he thought of her.  
  
// And the thoughts that used to seem so pure in my heart, they now feel jaded. \\  
  
Their eyes met the moment he got backstage. Blue collided with blue. Everything fell away for him. There was only her and the tears in her eyes. Everything got louder for her. She heard every sound. Even the beat of her heart.  
  
He tried to walk past her. He tried to get out without speaking to her. He would deal with Vince.  
  
She tried to let him go. It was better if she did. If he left, she could have a life approaching normalcy.  
  
"Are you okay?" she whispered when he stopped in front of her.  
  
"I can walk," he said softly, trying to treat her question lightly.  
  
"That's not funny," she said. "I was worried."  
  
"That I might sue?" he asked.  
  
"That you might die," she said, turning away and heading back to her office.  
  
// Because I wanna feel like I did. And I wanna feel innocence. \\  
  
It was so familiar to him, the way she walked away from him. She had done it before. That time it had been a betrayal. Something was different. This time he had to go after her. This time he needed to be forgiven.  
  
It was new. But it wasn't. It took him back to the hugs and jokes they had shared earlier on. Earlier in his career. Earlier in her marriage. His career was pretty much over, at least for awhile. And her marriage was long over.  
  
But those tears took him back to the days before they had backstabbed each other and cheated each other out of what they deserved. What did they deserve?  
  
"Happiness," he muttered, turning away from her office. It was too late for happiness. Much too late.  
  
He should walk away. He was just asking to ache and hurt all over again. He should leave while he still could. But she had cried for him again.  
  
But she didn't want him.  
  
// What else can it be except this pride I'm sick of drinking. \\  
  
Stephanie slouched in the chair Shane had occupied earlier. He didn't care about her anymore. She couldn't really blame him. She was the one who had started them on this path of destruction and hurt. She was the one who chose Hunter, it was she who had turned her back on her lover.  
  
And he was the one who asked for forgiveness. He thought he had done something wrong. He asked her to forgive him and stand by his side while he tried to get the championship. And he did it.  
  
Then he turned on her and cost her all of her hopes and dreams. He had told her she would be better off this way. She looked at the papers stacked on her desk. She looked at the framed picture of her family that had been taken a month earlier. Shane and Vince wouldn't be talking if Kurt hadn't betrayed her. He was right, he was always right.  
  
So why couldn't she ask forgiveness for rejecting him? Why couldn't she swallow her pride and tell him she had lied to him?  
  
// Storm clouds all have gone away. Can we stop this thing from sinking? \\  
  
"Yeah?" Stephanie asked, expecting Shane to be the one who had knocked on her door. He knew when she needed him. It seemed like a sixth sense.  
  
"Hey," Kurt whispered as he opened the door. Her head sprang up. She dashed tears off her cheeks quickly. "I'm sorry about being a jerk back there."  
  
"It's okay," Stephanie said, nodding her head for a moment.  
  
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, taking another step into the office and letting the door slip shut behind him.  
  
"It doesn't matter," Stephanie said, trying to smile at him. "All that matters is that you didn't get hurt any worse than you already are."  
  
"I'm walking," Kurt shrugged.  
  
"I'm glad," Stephanie said, smiling softly at him.  
  
"Why?" Kurt asked. "I thought you hated me."  
  
"I could never hate you," Stephanie gasped. "Never."  
  
"But, I thought." Kurt said, looking intently at Stephanie.  
  
"Thought what?" Stephanie prompted him.  
  
"Nothing," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'll see you around."  
  
Stephanie watched him turn to leave and she knew she was letting her last chance slip through her fingers.  
  
// Because I wanna feel like I did. And I wanna feel innocence. \\  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered.  
  
"What?" Kurt asked, turning around quickly.  
  
"I'm sorry Kurt," Stephanie said, a tear trailing down her cheek.  
  
"Why?" Kurt asked, confusion crossing his blue eyes.  
  
"For lying," Stephanie said, brushing the tear away. "For turning you away."  
  
"I don't understand you Steph," Kurt said, kneeling in front of her. "But I never did."  
  
Stephanie laughed. "I wanted you so bad that night you came to my office. But I knew it was a ruse. At least, I thought it was. Now, God, I'm making a fool of myself."  
  
"No you aren't," Kurt said. "That night. it started as a way to help Heyman, but, I don't know. I was walking over here and all I could think was that I really wanted to start something up with you. Something real."  
  
"We had something real Kurt," Stephanie said.  
  
"I know," Kurt said. "But that was full of secrecy and lies. I wanted something innocent. Something that might last."  
  
"Kurt," Stephanie whispered.  
  
// And I want you to know, \\  
  
"I love you Stephanie," Kurt whispered, he brushed her cheek gently with his finger.  
  
"Kurt, I can't," Stephanie said.  
  
"I just needed to tell you," Kurt said. "I don't know when I'll see you again."  
  
"What?" Stephanie asked frantically.  
  
"Surgery," Kurt said. "I'll go now."  
  
"Don't go," Stephanie said. "We have to talk."  
  
"We've talked too much," Kurt said.  
  
And he was gone.  
  
// and to feel in your soul, that someone has come and gone. \\  
  
Stephanie looked at the door Kurt had just walked through. The door he had left through. He loved her? He had never told her that before.  
  
He was lying, saving face. Trying to make himself seem better than he was before he left. But he didn't need to seem better than he was. He had a contract if he wanted to come back.  
  
And she'd be a fool not to take him back.  
  
What if he met some sweet woman while he was gone. Would he remember her? Would he know that she might be ready to accept the love he gave in a year?  
  
A year. So much could happen in a year.  
  
And he was gone.  
  
// I'm stuck up here with you. \\  
  
"Have you seen Kurt?" Stephanie asked as she raced down the hallway in her high-heeled shoes.  
  
"He's in his locker room," someone told her.  
  
She opened the door without knocking. He was sitting in a chair, his head resting on his hands. He looked so tired and dejected.  
  
"I didn't mean to do it again," Stephanie said softly.  
  
"What?" Kurt asked, his head popping up.  
  
"I love you too," Stephanie said. His blue eyes widened in surprise. Then they softened into a smile.  
  
"You're not just saying it?" Kurt asked, standing unsteadily.  
  
"I'm not just saying it," Stephanie said, walking into his arms.  
  
"I'll make you happy," Kurt said, embracing her tightly. "I promise."  
  
// I never thought we'd get this high. I used to be afraid of falling. \\  
  
"Lets go home," Kurt said to his wife of a year.  
  
"Don't you know where we are?" she asked him, looking at him intently.  
  
"Of course I know where we are," Kurt said. "This is where we first told each other that I love you."  
  
"I have something to tell you," she said, smiling over at him.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, pulling her into his arms as he hugged her.  
  
"It only seemed appropriate to tell you here," she said.  
  
"What's that?" he asked.  
  
"I'm pregnant," she whispered.  
  
// Now I'll spred my wings and I will fly. \\  
  
"You're serious?" Kurt asked, looking at her intently.  
  
"Of course I am," she said. She felt her feet leave the ground as Kurt pulled her off the ground and swung her in dizzying circles. She laughed happily.  
  
"A baby," Kurt said, his voice dazed when he pulled her into his arms.  
  
"You're really happy?" she asked.  
  
"Of course I am," Kurt said.  
  
"You just came back from your surgery though," she pointed out.  
  
"Don't care," he said. "You are more important than anything."  
  
"I love you Kurt," she said.  
  
"I love you too," he said, kissing her gently.  
  
// I wanna feel like I did. And I wanna feel innocence. \\  
  
"What's wrong Steph?" Matt Hardy asked when he passed her in the halls of the venue.  
  
"Nothing," Stephanie said.  
  
"It's great that you let Trish come to SmackDown," Matt said. "So she could be with her husband."  
  
"I couldn't really keep them apart," Stephanie said. "It's my fault they are even together."  
  
"What?" Matt asked.  
  
"I never went to his room and told him I loved him," Stephanie said, thinking back to that night that she had only imagined going and telling Kurt that she loved him. She hadn't swallowed her pride and gone to him.  
  
And Trish had been there for him.  
  
"Let me take you back to the hotel," Matt said, concerned at Stephanie's state.  
  
"I'll be okay Matt," Stephanie said. "I've accepted that I can't have what I had with him anymore. I can't go back."  
  
"Maybe you can find it with someone else," Matt said. "He seems to have."  
  
"I hope so," Stephanie said.  
  
// I wanna feel like I did. Oh, and I wanna feel innocence, oh. I... \\ 


End file.
